Quiet Chaos

There is a metaphor that to avoid the waves in the ocean simply go deeper. This seems true and good advice for life. I recently learned, however, that there are storms not just on the sea surface, but deep within. These storms that researchers are finding occur along the ocean floor and have currents as much as 2000 feet deep! This also seems true to life. 

Internal storms are what most of us experience when we get quiet. We often feel worse. We frequently are overwhelmed by all the activity within. In the quiet, we meet our inner chaos - the chaos that we always carry around with us, but suppress with activity. 

Being still, we can notice the frantic movement of our thoughts. Our mind is anything but quiet. In our abstention from activity, the tidal wave of thoughts can overwhelm us and bring with them strong emotions - emotions that we often experience as negative - and seek to flee from and avoid.

With repetition, our peace in the quiet chaos can grow. We can begin to observe patterns of underlying thinking, and can, as a result, begin to do something about them. We can observe the thoughts, and thus, can gain insight. We can consider whether the thoughts are true and helpful or if it would be better to do some reprograming of our mental habits. Many of our mental habits come from patterns we observed from our surroundings growing up and from insecurities we harbor within ourselves.

Different seasons in life can allow us to access deeper regions for purging and reprograming of thoughts. In these times, it may be more difficult to find the peace in the quiet that with your meditative or contemplative practices which you are accustomed to and this can be unsettling. I certainly find it profoundly unsettling. It can make you think you're doing it wrong, but it may very well be that you've simply unlocked unhealthy beliefs and trauma responses that you've held. 

Storms don't last forever and can't teach us how to be more prepared at navigating life and even what is important. Storms can help us release things that aren't important and cling to what is good. Not all clinging is good, nor bad. It depends what you're clinging to and it depends on the circumstances. Things that you clung to earlier to save your life may no longer serve you. Things that your parents clung to, that your grandparents clung to, having learned from their parents, may not serve you, your relationships, nor your local or the global community.

Curiosity is a helpful companion in sitting in the chaos and will give clues to next steps, lessons to learn, grace to give, clinging to release, and what next to cleave to.

May you always see the blessing.

-Elle