Where Commitment Goes to Die
We have to be careful about what we commit to. Commitment means weathering many seasons, riding ups and downs. Put differently - to commit to something or someone will bring hardship and suffering. So what if you latch yourself to something that stifles and begins to die. What if you commit to something that loses its way?
I am a fiercely loyal person. I am deeply committed. But I'm learning I have a history, a tendency, a habit of making and then abiding by rules that are only just rules. My commitment can lead me to ignore or explain away warning clues - clues to reevaluate, to consider changing course.
Am I so good a commitment because I also like or have a deep need to be right. If I change my mind and change my action, I am acknowledging that I was not right before. And I deeply like/need to be right. If you're paying attention and reasoning through this, you'll see the clinging to an earlier commitment doesn't make it more right. The right thing might be change.
Growth is change. Growth is evolution beyond what use to be, with more capabilities. The capabilities could be strength, grace, love, problem-solving, adaptability, communication. With learning, what is possible now was not previously possible. The you that committed to something earlier isn't the you now.
Our essence never changes, but our access to our essential self does. Commitments we made earlier in life may be restraining us from accessing our essential self. It may be restraining others from accessing their essential self.
Perhaps our essences, our souls, must be protected above all else. Perhaps this is where commitments to culture, institutions, patterns, people must be reevaluated. Perhaps this is where commitments go to do.
When a commitment dies, there is grieving and loss. The death of one commitment is replaced with a newer commitment filled with the wisdom of life's journey and wisdom's guiding voice, nurturing us towards wholeness. Death allows for rebirth.
This is new for me. This is hard for me. I cling so fiercely to those earlier commitments, eschewing the gifts and invitation of what is, in the now. I working to say "yes", and then say "yes" again, and again and again to what is being presented to me, not some illusion from the past that is not and maybe never was.
Be careful what you commit to, friends. What you commit to should leave space for growth, for change, for you and others to become increasingly revealing and abiding in essence.
May you always see the blessing, beloved.
-esb